he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
