Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
