Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
