Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
