Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
