this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
whose parrot is this?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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