Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just had sex on a roof
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
