Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
