I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
