She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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