11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize