I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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