$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
