So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
