Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
