We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
