So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
