it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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