i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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