I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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