i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
