This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
