I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
