Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
