a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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