I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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