Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
