Jerry, you need to find god
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
