Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
