My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
