So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
