the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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