Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This beer is not sobering me up at all
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
