I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
