Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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