official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just pee around me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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