Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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