Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have fence marks all over my body
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
