okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
