I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
