So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize