oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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