I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
