I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
