He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think my fart just growled at me.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
