Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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