Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize