I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
