Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
