He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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