ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
