My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
