He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
