The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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