so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
