At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize