Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
