is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Everyone says I win the strip club
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
