Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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