I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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