chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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