im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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